Treasured Wounds
Salad Ait Mokhtar/unsplash.com
“Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom” ~ Oprah Winfrey
Many years ago, I would receive a small booklet by mail each month with stories of inspiration and words of wisdom to reflect on each day. There were quotes from authors, deep thinkers and philosophers at the top of the page, and then the theme title for that day's pondering.
On this particular day, as I read, the post, “Treasured Wounds” by Margaret Stortz, I felt I was being spoken to personally and relished in her words of encouragement and positivity. Afterwards, I gently tore the page out of the magazine to journal with and then put it away as a keepsake that, over the years, I could go back to.
Have you ever found yourself doing this, reading something, and instantly feeling uplifted, and looking around for a pencil and scratch pad to scribble those words down to save?
If so, was it months or years later when it surfaced and reading it again seemed to be the perfect time and you could feel that same rise again?
Did you see yourself from long ago?
Did you muse over the words, remember how you used to be, and see the growth and changes you've been through because of those words?
Or would you feel like you were still looking at the same person in the mirror?
Oh, I have on both accounts.
Last night, I went to bed at my usual time, and was ready or thought I was. I caught a second wind and was wide awake at 11:00 pm. My mind had been shuffling through the mental files of experiences in my life to share for this story, but nothing was coming through, so I concentrated on breathing and thought, how about a bit of help here?
After a few moments, a book floated past my mind's eye that I had not read in quite a while. It was not far from me in our bedroom bookcase, so I quietly got up to avoid disturbing my husband and began feeling the binding of the books in the dark to see if I could guess which one it was. Surprisingly enough, I chose the correct one and tiptoed out of the room.
I made myself comfortable on the couch, turned on a small light, put my hand on this wise and inspirational book (no, it wasn't mine😆), and questioned if a page was pertinent for me to read with some guidance. I waited a few moments, then randomly opened it.
A page from that old small booklet that I had slipped into this book some years ago was tucked between two pages.
It was the post "Treasured Wounds," from 2004. This piece spoke volumes of truth for me back then, and over the years, I'd go back to these essential words to reflect on in times of feeling burdened with the fear of not letting go of certain past wounds.
We all have them.
One of those difficult memories that returns and engulfs me at times, even after 48 years, is when I gave up my firstborn child for adoption. The memory pulls me at times to feel the loss and reminisce of the emotional pain that still silently hovers over my heart and longs for that child.
As I write this now, the wound is slowly awakening, and when I share this story with someone, the tears from that wound begins to be felt. The difference now, though, is that I understand these emotions. I have learned how to comfort and soothe the pain with a clear understanding of why I gave her up and rest in the fact that at my young age, then living at home, working at a fast-food chain, and barely had money to live on was not a healthy foundation for my daughter to grow and flourish.
I also knew, the beautiful family who, with open arms and hearts, took my daughter into their lives as one of their own, was the right decision.
As I got older, married, and had children, I worked as a Youth Minister at our local church. I would share my experiences with the teens. Down the line, when some frightened hearts found themselves in this life-changing situation they would come to me for guidance. I reassured them of their goodness and helped them through whatever decision they chose, bringing courage and strength every step of the way. And to reaffirm them that they were deeply loved and respected with no judgment on my part or Our Awesome Creator, Ever!
So, whenever the pain from that one treasured wound returns, I remind myself of the growth and healing I experienced as I gave encouragement and guidance to each young heart who walked on my path.
*Here are Margaret’s profound words:
Treasured Wounds
“There is in us at times the tendency to hold on to the things that hurt us, the angry words that people say, the real or imagined slights. In fact, sometimes it seems that some people tend to be upset, angry, or hurt most of the time. This takes real effort. It takes a lot of focus and investment in our upsets to keep them present and alive for long periods of time. Alan Cohen has a term for this: treasured wounds, so named because they mean so much to us that we seem unwilling to give them up. Probably no one intends to become so negatively fixated, but it is not too hard a habit to develop, and there is usually some benefit involved, such as attracting attention to ourselves.
If we recognize these tendencies in ourselves, we need to decide whether or not we are willing to give up these behaviors in favor of attitudes which bring hope, joy, and happy expectancy, as well as positive forms of attraction. Certainly, we have all suffered some forms of misunderstanding with others, perhaps grievously so. Shall we continue to hold our wounds close to our feeling centers, always psychologically bleeding, never healing? Shall we keep on engaging in continual punishment of others and ourselves? Or shall we decide, for our own health’s sake, to release our holds on the plagues of the past and step out into the freedom of forgiveness? We have the ability to create new treasures of psychic gold and silver if we will lay aside our treasured wounds.”
Center for Spiritual Living | Science of Mind | Tuesday, February 10, 2004.
Thought to ponder
When we allow the tight grip of this kind of pain from the past to be released and give the space needed for the wound to rest in peace, do we have the courage to move forward without those painful stories that seem at times to define who we are and allow ourselves to expand in a fresh, restorative way of experiencing life? I have found that letting go gives me freedom without guilt, even if it is just for today.
David Bartus / pexels.com